Smug Alert

I have seen this South Park episode and it’s freaking cool. Way funnier than the recent episodes. But that’s not what I really wanna say. You see, there is this tutor of mine, who is a complete smug.

So first, what is a smug? From Urban Dictionary, ’cause this word is way too cool to be in other dictionaries.
Smug:
1) Adjective describing people who talk with their eyes closed and like the smell of their own farts.
2) Adjective describing people who always brag about their hybrid car.
3) The gas produced by smug people.
By E. Cartman, South Park, Colorado, Sep 30, 2006.

So I have this tutor, and today’s his first day with my class, and he comes in dressed like a cowboy. A bloody freaking cowboy, with that thing around his neck, I have no idea what it’s called. He doesn’t have his hat though, probably left it with his horse somewhere. But believe me, I have no issues with his fashion sense, just that I hate everything else about him.

He looks funny, but not in a pleasant way. He talks funny, but not like Russels ‘da man, more like a cat stuck in a washing machine. And he is smart, not in a good way, just smart-ass. I guess his ass thinks more than his head, if that is biologically possible. In other words, he is a smug. I wouldn’t be surprise if he drives a hybrid car.

So there he was, teaching probably one of the most difficult section in the module, and with 50 students in the class, and he acts like a smug and started asking people to leave because some of them are gate crashing. But nobody left, up your ass, smart-ass.

And the worst is yet to come. When he was teaching, it was as if he is the smartest guy in the room, though I sincerely think he is way smarter than anyone else in the room. But hey, what’s with the smirk when we give wrong answers, we are all learning aren’t we. Dumb shit, we are, for sitting there for an hour listening to him preach about statistics. Preach, because probably he had wanted us to smell his fart as well but, no, thanks dude.

All in all, I will not forgive myself for 3 things:
1) Sitting through the torturous 1 hour class of his
2) Actually writing down all the crap that comes out of his mouth
3) Actually write a whole fucking post on him, that smug

This post may not see the light of day. Ah, who am I kidding?

Pennies from Heaven

I used to write funny. Serious. Less dark. Less troubles on the mind. Lighter. Certainly more enjoyable. Now, it’s serious, darker and heavier. Thoughts didn’t come out right anymore. I can’t look at myself and laugh like I used to. Excuses, I’d say.

So anyway they asked what happen to the light-hearted stuffs I used to write about. Truth is I was struggling to come up with something funny, or enjoyable, or light for your consumption. I was. 2 years back I was funny because of pinkgurl. I was funny because I was trying to impress her.

So there you have it. It was natural for me to write funny back then. Now with 2 years of experience, 2 more years of looking at the world differently, and 2 more years of more heart breaks and regrets. Suddenly it ain’t so simple no more.

But then again, what is life, if I can’t look at myself and my life, and laugh it all out?

p.s. that bloody pink pig on the table is killing my eyesight

Like finally

Was early today for class. So decided to chill in the computer cluster. Then felt like a Coke. So left my stuff on the table, walk all the way down to the vending machine, and realised I have nothing with me. Nothing. No cards, no money, and left everything in the cluster.

So make my way back to the cluster, cursing like nobody’s business of course, just to find the door shut on me. So gave the puppy-eye look to the people inside, hoping they’ll at least notice this extrememly good looking guy, but God’s really unfair. Either I am not good looking, or they’re freaking blind. Either way, God’s still unfair.

So waited a good 10 mins, before this lady open the door to go in. Good, so I’ll just let myself in. But NO…. She asked for my card, to verify I was in fact from ChBE. Like fuck. She can go fly kites for all I care. But being in situation I’m in, I can’t really ask her to go fuck herself, can I? So I pain-stakingly explained my situation, and turned on my charm, and hope she’ll let me in.

After what felt like centuries, she finally let me in. And to my horror, I found out that she is just a freaking year 4. She can now, please, go fuck herself. Apparently she is doing some project inside the cluster with her friends (READ: bitches come in pack), and was really suspicious of me. Me? The guy who’d never kill any humans. She gotta be kidding.

Moral of the story, bitches deserve to be put to a long painful death. And she was one damn ugly bitch.

On a different note, one of her friends is hot though.