Familiar Faces

Old familiar faces were around today.

Friends from exchange came back, one after another. And it’s always fun to listen to their adventures and what not. Maybe it’s the fact that I will not be able to do what they did. Or maybe just the fascination over their experiences. Either way, it’s always a pleasant surprise to meet old friends, whom you missed so much when they’re not around.

Finally I felt like life is piecing back together again. Although one huge piece will remained missing, but that’s another story for another sad day. Right now I can feel life getting back on the road. Slowly, I am sure things will get back on track.

This is as true as I can be. I feel that I am slowly slipping into abyss of despair. It is as if there is some heavy weight on my shoulder. I can’t quite say what it is. But it’s heavy. When I look into the mirror, I don’t see the fire in my eyes I used to take for granted. When I smile, I feel some sort of heaviness in my heart. When I laugh, I feel the pull of that false mask on my face. There is something worrying me, keeping my soul uneasy, but I can’t quite identify what it is. There seemed to be more sadness these days in the things I see around me. And I am helpless, I feel, in dealing with all these foreign feelings.

And I am tired of walking to the bus stop every day with that weight on my shoulder, with that alien sadness wrapping my heart.

Old familiar faces were around today. But some how, it just doesn’t feel like the same old way. And I told myself this, this is where I will draw the line. The first time I’ll admit this, I am very depressed, severely, and the last time I’ll ever wanna feel this way.

So God help me.