A little happier

He’d probably never felt so happy in his life before. Sure, there were couple of them before this. But this will remain special in his heart. Special, but not unforgettable I’m afraid. In due time, I dare say, he’d forget about it and move on. But till then, I don’t know.

He rarely spoke about his private life with anyone, let alone something as intimate as this. But with her, he’d tell the whole world how he feels. Felt. Feels. He rarely spoke of how they gotten together. Probably because it was not important to him. But it was. And it will always be. But not forever, no.

By the time you finished this line, it would have been his 15th time asking what he should get for his baby girl. No. Yes. No. Maybe. He never quite felt this excited before. It was as if the world sang with him. And rightly so, because he was blissfully happy. Not a worry in the world. Of course that was exaggerating. But he worried less.

Should he get this? Should he get that? How about this? Or that? One of those? These? He can’t decide. ‘Cause he wanted to give her the best. The most thoughtful. The most romantic. The nicest. And whatever else superlative.

But that was 14th February. And this is now. Now it’s less glittery and more hollow, but nonetheless. We do the things we do, just to feel a little happier, don’t we? You wouldn’t disagree, would you?

Someone told me that I write too abstract. This is for that someone. It’s too painful to write straight.

Darlin’, it’s ok

He never seemed like the kind that would allow life’s curve balls go to his head. Composed. Clinical. Cold. You rarely see weakness in his eyes. ‘Cause he never showed it. And you rarely see tears, those damning humanising tears. ‘Cause he never shed them. At least not in front of you.

But he is no superman. He wished he was. But he is not. He is only human. And like any other human, he is at times really lost. And trust me, this is one of those time.

He didn’t have much sleep when he had to jump start his day. He was tired, and rightly so. He felt that the world is spinning around wildly. He is losing control, ironically on things he has no control of. He is lost, and for many times over, he is admitting it. It is somehow discouraging seeing him the way he is. But it was inevitable, I guess.

And in times like these, he doesn’t want to give up. No sir, he will not. He wants to continue, if to just show the world he is capable of that. He wants to continue, if to just show the world he is no coward. And he wants to continue, if to just show the world he will survive. But really, he wants to continue, to just show himself that he has come thus far, and he owes it to himself to finish the journey.

And in times like these, he used to have a pair of strong arms around him. To comfort him. To encourage him. To give him the extra strength he needed. To remind him that he is still loved, even when the world comes crumbling down.

And she’ll say, “Darlin’, it’s ok.” And it was, it was ok. How he missed those words, right now, right here.