Pretend
May 6, 2008
We are all pretenders, you and I. We pretend that we’re ok when clearly we’re not. We pretend things are fine, when clearly they’re not. We pretend not to see, or pretend to be asleep, when clearly actions are needed.
I pretend most of the time. Hypocritical, am I?
I pretend that I’m ok, that I’m fine. I put up a smile on my face. I brush aside talks about what’s troubling me. I kept almost everything to myself. Because I truly believe that I should not burden people around me with my troubles. Because they’re important that way, that I should not worry them. Because they care so much.
But I think it’s a little selfish to think that way. To not open up when people extend their arms, that’s like rejecting their goodwill, don’t you think so? I don’t know. Isn’t it much easier to share it with someone?
Sometimes little things matter so much it’s hard. But I’m learning.
Smile on the face, tears in the heart. Isn’t that a man’s battle?
I just made that up =)
May 7, 2008 at 12:50 am
Indeed, my friend. I think we all, to one degree or another, struggle with that dilemma - to burden, or not to burden, that seems the question. But, you are absolutely correct in your deductions. To withdraw from one who is offering to help shoulder those burdens is not as much protecting them from what ails you, as it is denying them the opportunity to give of themselves to help another. And, since that is what I think we’re all charged with doing - in a ‘bigger picture’ sense - we should allow others to help us, just as we would (hopefully) want to help them, were the roles reversed.
So why is that so difficult to do sometimes? IMO… pride. We don’t like to admit we’re having trouble. So, out of pride, we paste that smile on our face and muddle through the day, all the while thinking that no one can see though the glue to our real self. We are, indeed, foolish people. But, we are also all guilty.
The Golden Rule, as I was taught it, tells us to “do unto others, as we would have others do unto us.” Absolutely. But if we would have others believe our machismo, rather than graciously accepting their offers of assistance, what does that tell us about ourselves?
Excellent, honest post - and a great quote, too! :-D
Well said my friend, and I am sincerely thankful for it. I do believe that I gain more strength from the people around me than I do from my inner self. Once in a while I do still shy away from offers of assistance, but I am more willing to open up and talk about it. I spent some time thinking what you mentioned about machismo, accepting help, and self reflection. And boy, I think I’m a fool for being so stubborn for so long. This is really a timely reminder my friend =)
May 8, 2008 at 7:04 am
Now, if I could only “practice what I preach”!